Onelife's ongoing, when l've got time R412 review

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Onelife
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Re: Onelife's ongoing, when l've got time R412 review

#126

Post by Onelife »

Dancing Queen wrote:
Jan Rosser wrote:
I can honestly say that no other poster makes me laugh out loud like wot Keefy does :lolno: but don't tell anyone else I said that will you ;)
That's because he's just a thoroughly nice person Jan but keep that a secret too :shh:[/quote

Ahh....what a lovely thing to say Jo, thank you.

Btw........please don't tell the others l've said this but l just wanted you to know you're my most favorite poster ever :thumbup:

I'll be sending you a PM later with the good news.....

Regards

Keith :wave:

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Re: Onelife's ongoing, when l've got time R412 review

#127

Post by Onelife »

[quote="Susan Watt"]Just to mention if you come down a further floor in the lift there is level access to the restaurant.[/quoteHello Susan,

I'm sure you must be refering to the Alexandria restaurant?.... this being the case then the lift entrance must have been tucked away on the other side of the resturant because l didn't see it......Apologies to 'all' for getting that one wrong.

Regards

Keith :wave:

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Dancing Queen
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Re: Onelife's ongoing, when l've got time R412 review

#128

Post by Dancing Queen »

I always get the restaurants mixed up on Aurora but I know there is one that you can access by taking the lift down another level, it isn't that obvious because I think it is actually a double fire door but people do use it ( we did )
Jo

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Re: Onelife's ongoing, when l've got time R412 review

#129

Post by Onelife »

I know l should have been on a high after the previous days celebrations  but l awoke feeling as if a black cloud had decended over me. Oh dear,  we are heading home, Ok we still had five sea days and a little stop over in Gibraltar to look forward to, which did allow for a  little blueness to poke through the grey. 

Well as we now have three consecutive sea days ahead of us l think it's a good time to tell you about some of the intresting things that took place whilst we were at sea.

Times and dates may be subject to change as my memory ain't what it used to be.....

You will have heard me mention something about the upturned yatch which l must say l didn't see myself, but according to my wife, and others who wittnesd it, the yatch appeared about 300 hundred metres off the port side of the ship. Fearing the worst it was a relief when Captian Turnbull came over the atanoy with the announcement that the upturned yatch was in fact a upturned whale getting a suntan.....naah he didn't say anything about it getting a suntan but he did go on to say that what passengers were witnessing was the underside of a whale which had obviously perished. The Captain then went on to explain that the whale had  bloated out to double the size it would normaly have been thus leaving  the passengers thinking the worst. I was just pleased that the announcment came over as quickly as it did, as it wouldn't have been long before my wife would have been throwing life jackets overboard.

Then there was the 'Fog'....at about 6am we were awoken by the ships horn blasting out at intervals of every two minutes...thinking how inconsiderate was that l drew back the curtain only to see this supernaturally glowing fog rolling in towards us.....my first thoughts were...'this looks rather eeire' at which point l thought to myself if a clipper pulls up alongside l'm out of here. Turning to my wife l recalled the story of the film 'The Fog'  where Blake and his shipmates were sent to the bottom of the sea only to return to seek revenge on decendants of those who had done this dastardly deed. Not wishing to take any chances l hid under the bed quilt while my wife did a quick google  search to establish our family tree.

Feeling reassured that we weren't going to get hacked to death in our beds we accepted that this was just one of those occurances that happens at sea. The fog continued for most of the day which must have left the sun worshipers in a state of depression. 

Having spent most of the day in this fog bank it dose make you appreciate what a nightmare it must have been for sailors before the introduction of ships radar.

It was during our three sea days across to Gibraltar that we encounterd our roughest sea conditions, not that a force 5  was much to worry about but l did see a few sick bags on offer for those who weren't coping as well as others.  I took a few as l rememberd l'd run out of doggy poo bags :lol:

I think the ship was bracing a side wind which did make the ship sway a little but having the corridors to keep you upright...most l believe managed to get back to there cabins without to many knocks and bruises. 

With the Rock in sight our next port of call beckoned...

To be continued

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Kenmo1
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Re: Onelife's ongoing, when l've got time R412 review

#130

Post by Kenmo1 »

I've just had to explain to my husband why I had suddenly burst out laughing - you are wicked, Keith, - pinching sick bags to use as doggy poo bags. Wonderful :lol: :lol:

Maureen

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Manoverboard
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Re: Onelife's ongoing, when l've got time R412 review

#131

Post by Manoverboard »

So .... let me get this right, 20 pages ago you confessed to stealing the ship's biscuits and now it's the sick bags that have been purloined.

Is there any connection between the two I wonder :lol:

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Re: Onelife's ongoing, when l've got time R412 review

#132

Post by Dancing Queen »

Keefy, this review has been so entertaining and like Maureen it has had me :lol: so many times :thumbup:

When you arrive in Gib I'm rather hoping you went up the rock to see the monkeys because if there is a funny story to tell you will have it !!
Jo

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Re: Onelife's ongoing, when l've got time R412 review

#133

Post by david63 »

At least we are now on the way back home :thumbup: :crazy: :D

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Re: Onelife's ongoing, when l've got time R412 review

#134

Post by Manoverboard »

I would reckon that the monkeys would be able to tell the funniest story about their visit :lol:
Keep smiling, it's good for your well being

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Re: Onelife's ongoing, when l've got time R412 review

#135

Post by Onelife »

Manoverboard wrote:
So .... let me get this right, 20 pages ago you confessed to stealing the ship's biscuits and now it's the sick bags that have been purloined.

Is there any connection between the two I wonder :lol:

:wave:
Funny you should say that Mob as it seemed that our cabin steward had a monopoly over the ginger biscuits which if l had carried on eating them they would indeed have had me reaching for a sick bag.

Btw....if you had gone back a few more pages you would have noticed that a silver plated serving dish went missing also :lol:

Please keep that to yourself as it would be nice to share a table with you should we get invited to another a P&O naming ceremony :thumbup:

Regards

Keith :wave:

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Re: Onelife's ongoing, when l've got time R412 review

#136

Post by Onelife »

Dancing Queen wrote:
Keefy, this review has been so entertaining and like Maureen it has had me :lol: so many times :thumbup:

When you arrive in Gib I'm rather hoping you went up the rock to see the monkeys because if there is a funny story to tell you will have it !!
Hi Jo

We did indeed go up the rock and you'll never guess who l bumped into whilst up there?

To be continued :wave:

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Re: Onelife's ongoing, when l've got time R412 review

#137

Post by Onelife »

With a fair wind behind us we arrived in Gibraltar before most of the shops even had time to roll up their shutters. This was our second visit to Gibraltar although the first time ashore for me due to some kind of stomach bug which would have required me to take doggy poo bags had l strayed further than the gang plank.

We decided to walk into town which entailed a 20 minute walk (you could however have opted  for a fee paying mini bus) The walk into town wasn't at all inspiring which l have to say didn't get any better once you hit the main part of town. Walking through the main street didn't feel much different from walking through any UK mainland high street. 

With only 4 hours of free time in Gibraltar so we made straight for the cable car that takes you up to the top of the rock...£36 charge (3 adults) ....was it value for money?....well its a bloody long walk up which would have taken you 3 hours on foot as opposed to the cable car which took no more than 5 minutes . You can of course opt for a tour (mini) bus which cost around £21pp. On reflection if we were to return l think l would  choose this option especially after speaking to a couple who said te tour was brilliant having got to see all of the attractions. 

As you would expect the cable car views were.....well they were overlooking the town and harbour.

Arriving at the top you do get panoramic views which l have to say are stunning....l think this is where you are supposedly able to see two or three different other countries from where we were standing ...well you'll need to have  better eye sight than me cus l couldn't see them.

I have to say l was pleased that we had choosen to go to the top as it was here l met vapourpuffer aka DK.....l was going to pop over and say hello but he was tucking into a bannana at the time. Having not met DK before and only having a photo image to go by he looked a lot more hairier than in his photo, his flared nostrils and sunken eyes didn't do him any favours either. Turning to my wife l said l can't leave the rock without saying hello to Dk at which point she turned to me and said that the chap l was looking at was in fact one of the Barbary apes.....sh*t! I thought.... but then it was an easy mistake to make as the resembelance was uncanny....ooh ooh ooh ee ee ee aah aah aah.

The walk back to the ship very near crippled me as it seemed far longer walking back than it did going. Thinking back on it, the 'rock tour' would have been a far better option, and l dare say a lot cheaper than the excursions laid on by P&O.

Well it wasn't long before we were back on ship with my good wife was giving me a nice foot massage.....if only......in readyness for another evening of fine food and entertainment. We do have a few hours to kill before then so l shall tell you how l got on in the casino. Having had my fingers burnt on several occassions over the years l had set mysrlf a gambling allowance of £200 which win or lose was my limit for the whole cruise.....fluctuating and sometimes flatulating l managed to reach the last nights play with a deficit of only £35. This would have been a good result if l had walked away then but with a great atmosphere around the table the night was still young so stayed and enjoyed a couple more hours of fun eventually walking away from the table showing an overall profit of £45.

While we are on the topic of gambling l had left a bet on the gee gees prior to setting off on our cruise. The horse (Racy) was a horse that owed me about £40 as it was one that l had been following....blow me...it only went in a 20/1 which netted me £400 (minus normal expenses) which not only paid for the dog kennel fees but also put a small dent into paying off our onboard champage bill...well chuffed.....oh! and before you say anything....you're right, but why would l want to upset myself and tell you about the times l lose!!

Only two dinners to go before we were back where we started this epic journey.....but hold on, there was to be another little twist or should l say diversion before we eventually droped anchor in Southampton.  Having sat down for our evrning meal Captain Turnbull announced that one passenger had been taken seriously ill which required us to divert to our nearest port which was somewhere in Spain. At 2am we offloaded the passenger who our table companions said walked onto the awaiting boat so hopfully things may have improved for him during the 5 hour diversion. Once off loaded lm sure l wasn't the only hoping the nearest port of call would have been Venice....but sadly no such luck.

With the captains foot hard on the peddle and the ship travelling at the speed of a thousand gazelles we eventually pulled into Southampton but 3 hour later than our allotted disembarkation time.
All the posh passngers were allowed to get off first thereby missing out on the lovely barbecue which was laid on for those of us who were holding the green coloured disembarcation tickets.....nice touch P&O....thank you. 

Well thats about it folks......btw....l don't want to hear any of this ....'best  ever review rubbish'.....as a  small donation to the onelife cruise appeal will suffice. 

Thank you
o

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Manoverboard
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Re: Onelife's ongoing, when l've got time R412 review

#138

Post by Manoverboard »

OL ... without a doubt it was deffo the bestest ever rubbish review :lol:

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Dancing Queen
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Re: Onelife's ongoing, when l've got time R412 review

#139

Post by Dancing Queen »

Well I think it has been a brilliant review, sorry Keefy no donation .. only joking the cheque is in the post :lol: :lol:

Well what a 'Finale' meeting your 'bestest friend' :o

I've actually climbed up the Rock .. I was in my 20's at the time though, I couldn't do it now !!!
Jo

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Re: Onelife's ongoing, when l've got time R412 review

#140

Post by Kenmo1 »

Manoverboard wrote:
OL ... without a doubt it was deffo the bestest ever rubbish review :lol:

:wave:
Ignore MOB, he's just jealous of your wonderful literary skills - I loved it. No contribution I'm afraid - just trying to cobble together enough pennies for another cruise, so I know you will understand my dilemma. :)

I read somewhere that Neil Turnbull had been taken off a recent cruise in Madeira because he was taken ill. We loved having him as a Captain and always looked forward to his announcements and funny remarks. Hopefully he will get better soon.

Thanks Keefy for all that hard work - you deserve a rest.

Maureen :wave:

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Re: Onelife's ongoing, when l've got time R412 review

#141

Post by Onelife »

Thanks Maureen, jo and Mob :)

Maureen.....Re... 'wonderful literary skills'

I think the 'wonderful' should be attributed to all of you who have managed to make sense of my grammatical and spelling error's :clap: :lol:

Regards

Keith :wave:

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June1969
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Re: Onelife's ongoing, when l've got time R412 review

#142

Post by June1969 »

Hi Keefy,

I have thoroughly enjoyed reading your review, I could relate to some of the ports of call and you have made others sound appealing........different..... :clap:

I will be seeing some next year that I haven't been to yet when on Oceana.

You really know how to keep us in suspense waiting for the next instalment . Are you going to become the next DTM. :D

June

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RB1961
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Re: Onelife's ongoing, when l've got time R412 review

#143

Post by RB1961 »

Hi Keith,

Enjoyed the review. Worth waiting for.

RB


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Re: Onelife's ongoing, when l've got time R412 review

#144

Post by Andrea S »

OL,

A very humorous and informative review.

It amazes me how many men on here write such interesting posts. My OH would write a months cruise on a postage stamp.

Thank you

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Re: Onelife's ongoing, when l've got time R412 review

#145

Post by Onelife »

Just when you thought it was all over.......

Well l forgot to tell you about 'sick note goes cruising'  

l think it was on the third day that l wanderd pass the shop selling books, you could hardly miss them as they were on revolving stands just outside the shop outlet. After a bit of a search l eventually spotted DTM's 'sick note goes cruising' book tucked away on the bottom shelf (only one on display) ....well it soon made its way to a far more prominent position.... then having done my good deed for the day l carried on my way.

At dinner that evening the girls happend to be talking about books so l chipped in with ' have you read 'sick note goes cruising' ? Nope was the reply so l spent the next couple of minutes telling them about this 'great read'. Anyhow without me waffling on to much the Son had been out and bought the book for his father. The following day l was walking past the book stand again, stoped and looked to see if the book had been replaced, which it hadn't. ?.hey up can't have this as DTM had promised me a small bit of  commission on every book promoted :clap: .......Excuse me! I'm looking for a book called 'sick note goes cruising' "l know you stock them as l saw one the other day but you must have sold it.....l then went on to tell her (in great detail) what a fantastic book it was....she turned to me and asked who the Author was....sh*t! I felt the ground open up beneath me as l fumbled around trying to remember what pen nsme DTM had used....l mean....l could hardly say Dennis the Menace, now could l? Well Dennis Richards you owe me one cus l don't like making a prat of myself ( well not that often) whilst trying to promote your book.

The young lady said she would look to see if there were anymore in stock......Dennis, now l don't know if this is good news or not but l didnt see any other copies of your book on display for the rest of our cruise......hopefully this was due to them having sold out?

.....Well it is now.......

....Until l get back from a few days in them yonder hills in Wales as I've just thought of a couple of more things l forgot to tell you...please don't tell vapourpuffer l've said that :lol:


To be continued....

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Dancing Queen
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Re: Onelife's ongoing, when l've got time R412 review

#146

Post by Dancing Queen »

Oh goody ... more to come :clap: :clap:
Jo

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Dennis The Menace
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Re: Onelife's ongoing, when l've got time R412 review

#147

Post by Dennis The Menace »

Blimey, is this still going ?!! ;). Carol Marlow was still at the helm when this report started Keefy. :)

Seriously, a really good read, thanks for posting.

And thanks for your efforts re my book, that's really good of you. It seems that whenever the book is displayed where it can be seen (or someone makes a prat of themselves on my behalf getting it so) the book sells onboard and sells quickly. I think you're right though, that was them effectively selling out, but the P&O ships have no plan to restock from what I can tell, which is a shame.

Right, next installment please :)

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melsea
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Re: Onelife's ongoing, when l've got time R412 review

#148

Post by melsea »

[quote="Onelife"]:D :wave:


I though Cafe B.....had all the trappings of a up market resturant but the canteen style seats spoiled its overall appereance...

About that place you can't spell, my favourite place on the ship and you seriously should have gone to spec savers before you got on board, "canteen style seats"!!! I would love to see where you go that have these seats!!! We love the tub chairs hate those wooden ones. Breakfast is great for us as is lunch. So I will be in mourning when they get rid of it and put the ghastly glass house in its place!! Rant over.

Great report by the way, no cheque in the post I'm afraid I don't have a cheque book any more.

When are going away again so we can enjoy your humorous eyewitness account of being a cruiser????

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

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