In a Glasgow Butcher's shop

[Not so ancient mariner]

The butcher has just come back through from his cold store, and is standing with his back against the heater, thawing himself out.

A customer comes in and says....

"Is that your Ayrshire bacon?"

[Kendhni]

I went to the butchers the other day and I bet him 50 quid that he couldn't reach the meat off the top shelf. And he said, "No, you're right the steaks are too high."

Tommy Cooper

[Not so ancient mariner]

I went to the butchers the other day and I bet him 50 quid that he couldn't reach the meat off the top shelf. And he said, "No, you're right the steaks are too high."

Tommy Cooper

....and the 8 legs of Venison were two deer!