Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
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Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 15925
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down Souf. The civilised end of the country :)
Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
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Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 15925
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down Souf. The civilised end of the country :)
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
As my wife lay in a coma the doctors approached the life support machine.
"No, no, please," I sobbed, "just a little while longer. '
But my pleading didn't help. They woke her up.
"No, no, please," I sobbed, "just a little while longer. '
But my pleading didn't help. They woke her up.
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Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 15925
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down Souf. The civilised end of the country :)
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
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Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 15925
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down Souf. The civilised end of the country :)
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
I got stopped by a copper with a radar gun the other day. "Bit of a speed merchant are we, sir?" he asked.
"A bit, now and then," I replied, "but I only sell to friends."
So as well as three points I'm looking at three months.
"A bit, now and then," I replied, "but I only sell to friends."
So as well as three points I'm looking at three months.
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Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 15925
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down Souf. The civilised end of the country :)
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Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 15925
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down Souf. The civilised end of the country :)
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
My date came into the pub crying her eyes out last night.
"Are you ok?" I asked her.
"Do I look ok!?" she shouted.
"Me, your dress is nice but you could of put a little more effort in with your make up."
"Are you ok?" I asked her.
"Do I look ok!?" she shouted.
"Me, your dress is nice but you could of put a little more effort in with your make up."
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- Captain
- Posts: 11273
- Joined: January 2013
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
A doctor was having an affair with his nurse. Shortly afterward, she told him she was pregnant. Not wanting his wife to know, he gave the nurse a sum of money and asked her to go to Italy and have the baby there. “But how will I let you know the baby is born?” she asked. He replied, “Just send me a postcard and write ‘spaghetti’ on the back. I’ll take care of expenses.” Not knowing what else to do, the nurse took the money and flew to Italy. Six months went by and then one day the doctor’s wife called him at the office and explained, “Dear, you received a very strange postcard in the mail today from Europe, and I don’t understand what it means.” The doctor said, “Just wait until I get home and I will explain it to you.” Later that evening, the doctor came home, read the postcard, fell to the floor with a heart attack. Paramedics rushed him to the ER. The lead medic stayed back to comfort the wife. He asked what trauma had precipitated the cardiac arrest. So the wife picked up the card and read, “‘Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti – Two with sausage and meatballs, two without.”
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Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 15925
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down Souf. The civilised end of the country :)
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Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 15925
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down Souf. The civilised end of the country :)
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- Senior First Officer
- Posts: 2053
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Lancashire
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
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- Senior First Officer
- Posts: 2053
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- Location: Lancashire
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
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Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 15925
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down Souf. The civilised end of the country :)
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
Good ones Ray, particularly the paddy one
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Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 15925
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down Souf. The civilised end of the country :)
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Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 15925
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down Souf. The civilised end of the country :)
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
As they put me in the handcuffs and lead me to the van the copper asked me why I kept beating my wife,
"Probably the longer reach and the weight advantage, " I replied.
"Probably the longer reach and the weight advantage, " I replied.