Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~

Friday morning "Morning All"
User avatar

Topic author
Stephen
Commodore
Commodore
Posts: 15926
Joined: January 2013
Location: Down Souf. The civilised end of the country :)

Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~

#1

Post by Stephen »

Image

It's Friday Fun Time
15203117_1301216699909822_14183965658490085_n.jpg

User avatar

Topic author
Stephen
Commodore
Commodore
Posts: 15926
Joined: January 2013
Location: Down Souf. The civilised end of the country :)

Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~

#2

Post by Stephen »

I don't know what she's talking about most of the time

I woke up this morning and saw my wife sitting on the edge of the bed with two black eyes.
"What the hell happened to you?" I asked.
"This is what happens when you drink 9 pints of lager," she replied.
"That's rubbish," I said, looking in the mirror, "I drank 9 pints of lager last night and my face is fine."

User avatar

oldbluefox
Ex Team Member
Posts: 11305
Joined: January 2013
Location: Cumbria

Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~

#3

Post by oldbluefox »

A blond goes into the Post Office to buy some stamps for her Christmas cards.
She says to the clerk "May I have 50 Christmas stamps please?"
The clerk says "What denomination?"
The blond says "God help us. Has it come to this?"
In exasperation she says "Give me 22 Catholic, 12 Anglican, 10 Methodist and 6 Baptist".

User avatar

oldbluefox
Ex Team Member
Posts: 11305
Joined: January 2013
Location: Cumbria

Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~

#4

Post by oldbluefox »

Grandma's letter; She is eighty-eight years old and still drives her own car.

She writes: Dear Grand-daughter, The other day I went up to our local Christian book store and saw a Honk if you love Jesus bumper sticker. I bought the sticker and put it on my bumper.

Boy, am I glad I did, what an uplifting experience that followed. I was stopped at a red light at a busy junction, just lost in thought about the Lord and how good he is, and I didn't notice that the light had changed. It is a good thing someone else loves Jesus because if he hadn't honked, I'd never have noticed. I found that lots of people love Jesus!

While I was sitting there, the guy behind started honking like crazy, and then he leaned out of his window and screamed, For the lov e of God! Go! Go! Go! Jesus Christ, GO! What an exuberant cheerleader he was for Jesus! Everyone started honking! I just leaned out my window and started waving and smiling at all those loving people.

I even honked my horn a few times to share in the love! I saw a guy waving in a funny way with only his middle finger stuck up in the air. I asked my young teenage grandson in the back seat what that meant. He said it was probably a Hawaiian good luck sign or something. Well, I have never met anyone from Hawaii, so I leaned out the window and gave him the good luck sign right back.

My grandson burst out laughing. Why even he was enjoying this religious experience!! A couple of the people were so caught up in the joy of the moment that they got out of their cars and started walking towards me. I bet they wanted to pray or ask what church I attended, but this is when I noticed the light had changed. So, I waved at all my brothers and sisters grinning, and drove on through the junction.

I noticed that I was the only car that got through before the light changed again and felt kind of sad that I had to leave them after all the love we had shared. So I slowed the car down, leaned out the window and gave them all the Hawaiian good luck sign one last time as I drove away.

Praise the Lord for such wonderful folks!!

Will write again soon, Love, Grandma

User avatar

Topic author
Stephen
Commodore
Commodore
Posts: 15926
Joined: January 2013
Location: Down Souf. The civilised end of the country :)

Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~

#5

Post by Stephen »

15203155_1706431999601347_4636871664497296785_n.jpg
Bl**dy cyclists - It took me half an hour to get past them.

User avatar

Topic author
Stephen
Commodore
Commodore
Posts: 15926
Joined: January 2013
Location: Down Souf. The civilised end of the country :)

Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~

#6

Post by Stephen »

A family walks into a hotel and the father goes to the front desk and he says, "I hope the porn is disabled."

The guy at the desk replies, "It's just regular porn you sick bas**rd."

User avatar

Silver_Shiney
Deputy Captain
Deputy Captain
Posts: 6400
Joined: January 2013
Location: Bradley Stoke

Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~

#7

Post by Silver_Shiney »

Ladies and gentlemen, this is the captain speaking. As you know, we have just flown through some extreme turbulence. If you look out of the starboard windows down at the ocean, through the hole where the engine was before being ripped off, you will see a small orange dinghy with a man inside. Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking.
Alan

Q-CC-KOS
Q-CC-TBM

User avatar

Topic author
Stephen
Commodore
Commodore
Posts: 15926
Joined: January 2013
Location: Down Souf. The civilised end of the country :)

Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~

#8

Post by Stephen »

Silver_Shiney wrote:
Ladies and gentlemen, this is the captain speaking. As you know, we have just flown through some extreme turbulence. If you look out of the starboard windows down at the ocean, through the hole where the engine was before being ripped off, you will see a small orange dinghy with a man inside. Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking.
:thumbup:

User avatar

gfwgfw
First Officer
First Officer
Posts: 1854
Joined: January 2013
Location: Poole Bay, Dorset

Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~

#9

Post by gfwgfw »

Stephen wrote:
15203155_1706431999601347_4636871664497296785_n.jpg

Bl**dy cyclists - It took me half an hour to get past them.

Morning Stephen

You are arsing about again :lol:

Lubboo lots :wave:

Graham
Gentle Giant of Cerne Abbas :wave:

Return to “Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~”