It's Friday Fun Time
Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
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Stephen
Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 15968
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down Souf. The civilised end of the country :)
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Stephen
Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 15968
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down Souf. The civilised end of the country :)
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
As I looked at my naked body in the mirror...
I thought to myself, "I'm going to get kicked out of Ikea any moment now."
I thought to myself, "I'm going to get kicked out of Ikea any moment now."
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qbman1
- Captain
- Posts: 12153
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Oxfordshire
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
I posted this yesterday at the height of Storm Doris but I think it is worthy of repetition here...
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qbman1
- Captain
- Posts: 12153
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Oxfordshire
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
Someone told me they didn't understand the meaning of cloning
I said "that makes two of us"
I said "that makes two of us"
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oldbluefox
- Ex Team Member
- Posts: 11331
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Cumbria
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
I recently spent £6,500 on a young registered Black Angus bull. I put him out with the herd but he just ate grass and wouldn't even look at a cow. I was beginning to think I had paid more for that bull than he was worth.
Anyhow, I had the Vet come to have a look at him. He said the bull was very healthy, but possibly just a little young, so he gave me some pills to feed him once per day.
The bull started to service the cows within two days, all my cows! He even broke through the fence and bred with all of my neighbour's cows! He's like a machine!
I don't know what was in the pills the Vet gave him .. but they kind of taste like peppermint.
Anyhow, I had the Vet come to have a look at him. He said the bull was very healthy, but possibly just a little young, so he gave me some pills to feed him once per day.
The bull started to service the cows within two days, all my cows! He even broke through the fence and bred with all of my neighbour's cows! He's like a machine!
I don't know what was in the pills the Vet gave him .. but they kind of taste like peppermint.
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qbman1
- Captain
- Posts: 12153
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Oxfordshire
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
A young woman, pursuing a graduate degree in art history, was going to Italy to study the country's greatest works of art.
Since there was no one to look after her grandmother while she was away, she took the old lady with her.
At the Sistine Chapel in the Vatican, she pointed to the painting on the ceiling. 'Grandma, it took Michelangelo a full four years to get that ceiling painted'.
'Oh my', the grandmother says.
'He and I must have the same landlord'.
Since there was no one to look after her grandmother while she was away, she took the old lady with her.
At the Sistine Chapel in the Vatican, she pointed to the painting on the ceiling. 'Grandma, it took Michelangelo a full four years to get that ceiling painted'.
'Oh my', the grandmother says.
'He and I must have the same landlord'.
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Stephen
Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 15968
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down Souf. The civilised end of the country :)
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Stephen
Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 15968
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down Souf. The civilised end of the country :)
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
A Mexican kid meets Donald Trump and says to him, “I want to be President one day.”
Trump says, “Are you stupid? Are you an idiot? Out of your mind? Are you retarded?”
The kid replies, “You know what, I’ve changed my mind. Those are too many requirements.”
Trump says, “Are you stupid? Are you an idiot? Out of your mind? Are you retarded?”
The kid replies, “You know what, I’ve changed my mind. Those are too many requirements.”
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qbman1
- Captain
- Posts: 12153
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Oxfordshire
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oldbluefox
- Ex Team Member
- Posts: 11331
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Cumbria
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
This is Lexi, she’s an 8 week-old German Shepherd,
I bought Lexi as a surprise for my wife but it turns out she is allergic to dogs so we are now looking to find her a new home.
She is 58 years old, an attractive and caring woman who drives, is a great cook and keeps a clean house.
I bought Lexi as a surprise for my wife but it turns out she is allergic to dogs so we are now looking to find her a new home.
She is 58 years old, an attractive and caring woman who drives, is a great cook and keeps a clean house.
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oldbluefox
- Ex Team Member
- Posts: 11331
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Cumbria
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Stephen
Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 15968
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down Souf. The civilised end of the country :)
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Stephen
Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 15968
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down Souf. The civilised end of the country :)
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
My ex-girlfriend tried to humiliate me by telling all her friends I was terrible in bed.
Imagine her surprise when they all disagreed.
Imagine her surprise when they all disagreed.
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Stephen
Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 15968
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down Souf. The civilised end of the country :)
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
oldbluefox wrote: ↑24 Feb 2017, 09:53I recently spent £6,500 on a young registered Black Angus bull. I put him out with the herd but he just ate grass and wouldn't even look at a cow. I was beginning to think I had paid more for that bull than he was worth.
Anyhow, I had the Vet come to have a look at him. He said the bull was very healthy, but possibly just a little young, so he gave me some pills to feed him once per day.
The bull started to service the cows within two days, all my cows! He even broke through the fence and bred with all of my neighbour's cows! He's like a machine!
I don't know what was in the pills the Vet gave him .. but they kind of taste like peppermint.
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Silver_Shiney
- Deputy Captain
- Posts: 6400
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Bradley Stoke
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
Why park prettily when you can take up four spaces... (taken in my local Tesco 20 minutes ago)
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Last edited by Silver_Shiney on 24 Feb 2017, 19:23, edited 1 time in total.
Alan
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Mervyn and Trish
- Commodore
- Posts: 15322
- Joined: February 2013
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
There's a word for that but the forum turns it into ****Silver_Shiney wrote: ↑24 Feb 2017, 19:23Why park prettily when you can take up four spaces... (taken in my local Tesco 20 minutes ago)
20170224_190113.jpg
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Silver_Shiney
- Deputy Captain
- Posts: 6400
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Bradley Stoke
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
Mervyn and Trish wrote: ↑24 Feb 2017, 19:32There's a word for that but the forum turns it into ****Silver_Shiney wrote: ↑24 Feb 2017, 19:23Why park prettily when you can take up four spaces... (taken in my local Tesco 20 minutes ago)
20170224_190113.jpg
Just say "senior police officer"...!
Alan
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oldbluefox
- Ex Team Member
- Posts: 11331
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Cumbria
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
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oldbluefox
- Ex Team Member
- Posts: 11331
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Cumbria
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
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oldbluefox
- Ex Team Member
- Posts: 11331
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Cumbria
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
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qbman1
- Captain
- Posts: 12153
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Oxfordshire
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
Snap !
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qbman1
- Captain
- Posts: 12153
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Oxfordshire
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
The designer of this poster for "Britain Arise" may want to re-think !!
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qbman1
- Captain
- Posts: 12153
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Oxfordshire
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Silver_Shiney
- Deputy Captain
- Posts: 6400
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Bradley Stoke
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qbman1
- Captain
- Posts: 12153
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Oxfordshire
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
Here's another poster malfunction for you....