Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~

[Stephen]

It's Friday Fun Time


Paddy goes for a job at a chemical factory.

The factory manager asks, “Have you worked with chemicals before?”

“Yes!” paddy replies.

The manager asks,
“Can you tell me what Nitrate is?”

Paddy replies,
“I’m hoping it’s going to be time and a half”

[Stephen]

I've heard that Smoking Jackets and Blazers are on offer at Primark.

[Onelife]

A foreign man came to America not knowing a word of English and right away began looking for a job. He became a chorus teacher and learned to say, ¨Mi-mi-mi-mi-mi!¨ After that he joined the Army and learned to say, ¨Yes sir!¨ After that he worked at a restaurant and learned to say, ¨Forks and knives, forks and knives!¨ After that he worked at a candy store and picked up the words, ¨Goody-goody gumdrops!¨ A few weeks later, there was a murder in the area and he was the first person to be interrogated by the police. The interrogation went as follows: Policeman: Who killed the man? Foreign man: Mi-mi-mi-mi-mi! Policeman: Did you kill the man? Foreign man: Yes sir! Policeman: What did you use to kill him: Foreign man: Forks and knives, forks and knives! Policeman: You´re under arrest. Foreign man: Goody-goody gumdrops

[Stephen]

I was in Newcastle's ASDA this morning and there was a Romanian Couple in front of me, the guy on the till said “would you like any help with your packing”.
I thought “bl**dy hell!! Asda are getting ahead of themselves”.

[Stephen]

This gorgeous bird with really long legs got on the bus today, and when I turned around I could see right up her skirt. And that's when I hit the low bridge.

[Stephen]

Notting Hill carnival.

Haven't seen that much crack since 'Call to Prayer' at the local Mosque