Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
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Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 15963
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down Souf. The civilised end of the country :)
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Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 15963
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down Souf. The civilised end of the country :)
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
Getting a bit worried about those Amazon fires. My 42" plasma hasn't been delivered and they're still not answering the phone......
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Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 15963
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down Souf. The civilised end of the country :)
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Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 15963
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down Souf. The civilised end of the country :)
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
The Queen is going to suspend all the politicians in Parliament. Why can't she suspend them off a bridge instead?
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- Deputy Captain
- Posts: 8957
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Huddersfield
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
Is Prorogue, with regard to MPs, short for Professional Rogues?
Last edited by towny44 on 30 Aug 2019, 09:43, edited 1 time in total.
John
Trainee Pensioner since 2000
Trainee Pensioner since 2000
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- Senior First Officer
- Posts: 2858
- Joined: March 2013
- Location: Lancashire
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
My mate says all politicians are ‘Rogues,thieves and liars ‘ suppose he has a point.
Mel
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Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 15963
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down Souf. The civilised end of the country :)
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Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 15963
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down Souf. The civilised end of the country :)
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
The first death resulting from vaping has been reported in Illinois.
US doctors said vaping was the only possible reason for the untimely demise, he was an otherwise completely healthy 700 lb man.
US doctors said vaping was the only possible reason for the untimely demise, he was an otherwise completely healthy 700 lb man.
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- Ex Team Member
- Posts: 11331
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Cumbria
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
A young man and his date were parked on a back road some distance from town.
They were about to have make love when the girl stopped.
“I really should have mentioned this earlier, but I’m actually a hooker and I charge £20 for sex.”
The man reluctantly paid her, and they did their thing.
After a cigarette, the man just sat in the driver’s seat looking out the window.
“Why aren’t we going anywhere?” asked the girl.
“Well, I should have mentioned this before, but I’m actually a taxi driver, and the fare back to town is £25"
They were about to have make love when the girl stopped.
“I really should have mentioned this earlier, but I’m actually a hooker and I charge £20 for sex.”
The man reluctantly paid her, and they did their thing.
After a cigarette, the man just sat in the driver’s seat looking out the window.
“Why aren’t we going anywhere?” asked the girl.
“Well, I should have mentioned this before, but I’m actually a taxi driver, and the fare back to town is £25"
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- Ex Team Member
- Posts: 11331
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Cumbria
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
A fleeing Taliban terrorist, desperate for water, was plodding through the Afghan desert when he saw something far off in the distance. Hoping to find water, he hurried toward the mirage, only to find a very frail little old Jewish man standing at a small makeshift display rack - selling ties.
The Taliban terrorist asked, "Do you have water?
The Jewish man replied, "I have no water. Would you like to buy a tie? They are only $5."
The Taliban shouted hysterically, "Idiot Infidel! I do not need such an over-priced western adornment - I spit on your ties. I need water!
"Sorry, I have none - just ties - pure silk - and only $5."
"Pahh! A curse on your ties, I should wrap one around your scrawny little neck and choke the life out of you, but I must conserve my energy and find water!"
“Okay," said the little old Jewish man, it does not matter that you do not want to buy a tie from me or that you hate me, threaten my life and call me infidel. I will show you that I am bigger than any of that. If you continue over that hill to the east for about two miles, you will find a restaurant. It has the finest food and all the ice-cold water you need...Go In Peace”!
Cursing him again, the desperate Taliban staggered away over the hill.
Several hours later, he crawled back, almost dead and gasped, “They won't let me in without a tie”!
The Taliban terrorist asked, "Do you have water?
The Jewish man replied, "I have no water. Would you like to buy a tie? They are only $5."
The Taliban shouted hysterically, "Idiot Infidel! I do not need such an over-priced western adornment - I spit on your ties. I need water!
"Sorry, I have none - just ties - pure silk - and only $5."
"Pahh! A curse on your ties, I should wrap one around your scrawny little neck and choke the life out of you, but I must conserve my energy and find water!"
“Okay," said the little old Jewish man, it does not matter that you do not want to buy a tie from me or that you hate me, threaten my life and call me infidel. I will show you that I am bigger than any of that. If you continue over that hill to the east for about two miles, you will find a restaurant. It has the finest food and all the ice-cold water you need...Go In Peace”!
Cursing him again, the desperate Taliban staggered away over the hill.
Several hours later, he crawled back, almost dead and gasped, “They won't let me in without a tie”!
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Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 15963
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down Souf. The civilised end of the country :)
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
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Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 15963
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down Souf. The civilised end of the country :)
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
Does a Nomad ever get angry?