It's Friday Fun Time
Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
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Stephen
Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 15968
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down Souf. The civilised end of the country :)
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Stephen
Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 15968
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down Souf. The civilised end of the country :)
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
‘Hello, this is Samaritans sponsored by Paddy Power, how can I help?’
‘ I’m feeling suicidal and want to take my own life’
‘4/1 you do then!’
‘ I’m feeling suicidal and want to take my own life’
‘4/1 you do then!’
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Stephen
Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 15968
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down Souf. The civilised end of the country :)
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Stephen
Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 15968
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down Souf. The civilised end of the country :)
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
Ah well, I've left it long enough, I think it's about time I checked if I'm owed a PPI payment.
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towny44
- Deputy Captain
- Posts: 8960
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Huddersfield
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
Jeremy Corbyn walks into a Bank to cash a cheque. As he approaches the cashier he says, "Good morning, Ms could you please cash this cheque for me?"
Cashier:"It would be my pleasure. Could you please show me your ID?"
Corbyn :"Truthfully, I did not bring my ID with me as I didn't think there was any need to. I am Jeremy corbyn, leader of the Labour Party.
Cashier:"Yes, I know who you are, but with all the regulations and monitoring of the banks because of impostors and forgers and requirements of the legislation, etc., I must insist on seeing ID."
Corbyn: Just ask anyone here at the bank who I am and they will tell you. Everybody knows who I am."
Cashier: "I am sorry, mr corbyn, but these are the bank rules and I must follow them."
Corbyn,"Come on please, I am urging you, please cash this cheque."
Cashier: "Look sir, here is an example of what we can do. One day, Tiger Woods came into the bank without ID. To prove he was Tiger Woods he pulled out his putter and made a beautiful shot across the bank into a cup. With that shot we knew him to be Tiger Woods and cashed his cheque."
"Another time, Andre Agassi came in without ID. He pulled out his tennis racket and made a fabulous shot where the tennis ball landed in my cup. With that shot we cashed his cheque. So, sir, what can you do to prove that it is you and only you?"
Corbyn stands there thinking and thinking and finally says, "Honestly, my mind is a total blank...there is nothing that comes to my mind. I can't think of a single thing. I have absolutely no idea what to do. I don't have a clue."
Cashier: "Will that be large or small notes , Mr Corbyn. ?....
Cashier:"It would be my pleasure. Could you please show me your ID?"
Corbyn :"Truthfully, I did not bring my ID with me as I didn't think there was any need to. I am Jeremy corbyn, leader of the Labour Party.
Cashier:"Yes, I know who you are, but with all the regulations and monitoring of the banks because of impostors and forgers and requirements of the legislation, etc., I must insist on seeing ID."
Corbyn: Just ask anyone here at the bank who I am and they will tell you. Everybody knows who I am."
Cashier: "I am sorry, mr corbyn, but these are the bank rules and I must follow them."
Corbyn,"Come on please, I am urging you, please cash this cheque."
Cashier: "Look sir, here is an example of what we can do. One day, Tiger Woods came into the bank without ID. To prove he was Tiger Woods he pulled out his putter and made a beautiful shot across the bank into a cup. With that shot we knew him to be Tiger Woods and cashed his cheque."
"Another time, Andre Agassi came in without ID. He pulled out his tennis racket and made a fabulous shot where the tennis ball landed in my cup. With that shot we cashed his cheque. So, sir, what can you do to prove that it is you and only you?"
Corbyn stands there thinking and thinking and finally says, "Honestly, my mind is a total blank...there is nothing that comes to my mind. I can't think of a single thing. I have absolutely no idea what to do. I don't have a clue."
Cashier: "Will that be large or small notes , Mr Corbyn. ?....
John
Trainee Pensioner since 2000
Trainee Pensioner since 2000
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Stephen
Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 15968
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down Souf. The civilised end of the country :)
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Stephen
Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 15968
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down Souf. The civilised end of the country :)
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
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Stephen
Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 15968
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down Souf. The civilised end of the country :)
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Stephen
Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 15968
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down Souf. The civilised end of the country :)
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
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Stephen
Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 15968
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down Souf. The civilised end of the country :)
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
Just heard that communist tyrant who hates white people has died.
RIP Jeremy Corbyn.
RIP Jeremy Corbyn.
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Ray Scully
- Senior First Officer
- Posts: 2053
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Lancashire
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
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