Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
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Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 15980
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down Souf. The civilised end of the country :)
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Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 15980
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down Souf. The civilised end of the country :)
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
I’m a Greggs lorry driver, but I only do Hull, Grimsby & Scunthorpe.
My maths teacher told me to take pie to three dismal places.
My maths teacher told me to take pie to three dismal places.
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Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 15980
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down Souf. The civilised end of the country :)
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Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 15980
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down Souf. The civilised end of the country :)
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
Matt Hancock was visiting an old people’s home as a publicity stunt to show how sympathetic he was to the covid problem in the elderly.
He went up to an old lady in a wheelchair and said “ Do you know who I am?”
“No” she said “ but if you ask the nurse on the front desk she will tell you “
He went up to an old lady in a wheelchair and said “ Do you know who I am?”
“No” she said “ but if you ask the nurse on the front desk she will tell you “
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Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 15980
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down Souf. The civilised end of the country :)
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Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 15980
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down Souf. The civilised end of the country :)
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
I paid a carpenter to make me a double bed and the bu99ers done a bunk.
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- Ex Team Member
- Posts: 13014
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Dorset
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
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Keep smiling, it's good for your well being
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- Ex Team Member
- Posts: 13014
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Dorset
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
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Keep smiling, it's good for your well being
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- Ex Team Member
- Posts: 13014
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Dorset
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
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Keep smiling, it's good for your well being
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Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 15980
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down Souf. The civilised end of the country :)
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Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 15980
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down Souf. The civilised end of the country :)
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
The other day my friend said to me, “What would you do if your internet history became public knowledge?”
“I’d probably have to leave home,” I replied.
“And where would you go?” he asked.
“Prison,” I said.
“I’d probably have to leave home,” I replied.
“And where would you go?” he asked.
“Prison,” I said.
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- Senior First Officer
- Posts: 2053
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Lancashire
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- Senior First Officer
- Posts: 2053
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Lancashire
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
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- Senior First Officer
- Posts: 2053
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Lancashire
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
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- Senior First Officer
- Posts: 2053
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Lancashire
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
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Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 15980
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down Souf. The civilised end of the country :)
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
I liked the drinking one Ray
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Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 15980
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down Souf. The civilised end of the country :)
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Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 15980
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down Souf. The civilised end of the country :)
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
My wife’s coming back from holiday tomorrow.
Does anyone know how to delete the memory from my memory foam mattress?
Does anyone know how to delete the memory from my memory foam mattress?
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- Ex Team Member
- Posts: 11343
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Cumbria
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
The United States makes delivery of the first plane in Mrs Krankie's Scotland Air Force
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Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 15980
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down Souf. The civilised end of the country :)
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- Captain
- Posts: 11359
- Joined: January 2013
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- Commodore
- Posts: 15343
- Joined: February 2013
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
A professor travels to Africa to live with a primitive tribe:
He spends years with them, teaching them all about the wonders of science, mathematics, and formatting Reddit comments so they get the most upvotes.
One day, the Chief’s wife gives birth to a white child!
The word spreads, and the entire tribe is in shock.
The chief pulls the professor aside and says.
“Look, you’re the only white man we’ve ever seen around here, and this woman just gave birth to a white child. It doesn’t take a genius to figure out what happened!”
The professor replied.
“No, Chief. You’re mistaken. What you have here is a natural occurrence, what we in the civilized world call an albino! Look at that field over there. All of the sheep are white except for one black one. Nature does this on occasion.”
The chief was silent for a moment, then said.
“Tell you what. You don’t say anything more about that sheep and I won’t say anything more about that white child.”
He spends years with them, teaching them all about the wonders of science, mathematics, and formatting Reddit comments so they get the most upvotes.
One day, the Chief’s wife gives birth to a white child!
The word spreads, and the entire tribe is in shock.
The chief pulls the professor aside and says.
“Look, you’re the only white man we’ve ever seen around here, and this woman just gave birth to a white child. It doesn’t take a genius to figure out what happened!”
The professor replied.
“No, Chief. You’re mistaken. What you have here is a natural occurrence, what we in the civilized world call an albino! Look at that field over there. All of the sheep are white except for one black one. Nature does this on occasion.”
The chief was silent for a moment, then said.
“Tell you what. You don’t say anything more about that sheep and I won’t say anything more about that white child.”