It's Friday Fun Time
Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
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Stephen
Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 15955
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down Souf. The civilised end of the country :)
Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
It's Friday Fun Time
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Stephen
Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 15955
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down Souf. The civilised end of the country :)
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
Paddy and Mary were fast asleep in bed. Just after 3 o'clock in the morning they both woke to a loud bump outside.
Mary sat up in bed and hissed "Quick dat must be me husband!"
Paddy leapt out of bed in a panic, grabbed his trousers, ran across the bedroom and lowered himself out of the window.
He dropped on the ground twisting his ankle, staggered through a thorn bush and limped off down the lane bare-footed scratched and bleeding.
A few minutes later he burst back into the bedroom and yelled at Mary, "What are yeez about woman I AM yer fecking' husband!" She yelled back, "I know, I was testing yeez Paddy, so why did ye run?"
Mary sat up in bed and hissed "Quick dat must be me husband!"
Paddy leapt out of bed in a panic, grabbed his trousers, ran across the bedroom and lowered himself out of the window.
He dropped on the ground twisting his ankle, staggered through a thorn bush and limped off down the lane bare-footed scratched and bleeding.
A few minutes later he burst back into the bedroom and yelled at Mary, "What are yeez about woman I AM yer fecking' husband!" She yelled back, "I know, I was testing yeez Paddy, so why did ye run?"
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Stephen
Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 15955
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down Souf. The civilised end of the country :)
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
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Stephen
Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 15955
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down Souf. The civilised end of the country :)
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
I discovered that answering the door naked helps deter trick or treaters.
Oh, here we go again, here's two dressed as Policemen.
Oh, here we go again, here's two dressed as Policemen.
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Stephen
Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 15955
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down Souf. The civilised end of the country :)
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
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Stephen
Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 15955
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down Souf. The civilised end of the country :)
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
I'm sick and tired of all these terrible pick up lines that women use in the pubs and clubs like "What's your friend's name?"
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Manoverboard
- Ex Team Member
- Posts: 13014
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Dorset
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
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Keep smiling, it's good for your well being
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Onelife
- Captain
- Posts: 11326
- Joined: January 2013
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
"What's the difference between 'Oooh!' and 'Aaah!'? About three inches."
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Ray Scully
- Senior First Officer
- Posts: 2053
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Lancashire
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
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Ray Scully
- Senior First Officer
- Posts: 2053
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Lancashire
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
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oldbluefox
- Ex Team Member
- Posts: 11329
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Cumbria
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Stephen
Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 15955
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down Souf. The civilised end of the country :)
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
NO FUSE WIRE ... NO PROBLEM ...!!
Follow me for more handy DIY tips ...!
Follow me for more handy DIY tips ...!
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Stephen
Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 15955
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down Souf. The civilised end of the country :)
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
A little old lady went to buy cat food. She picked up three cans, but was told by the cashier:
"I'm sorry, but we can't sell this to you without proof you have a cat. Too many seniors are buying cat food to eat. Management wants proof that you are buying this for your cat."
So the lady went home, brought in her cat and was sold the cat food.
The next day, she comes in and tries to buy two cans of dog food and was again told she couldn't buy them without proof.
So the lady went home, brought in her dog and was sold the dog food...
One day later, she brought in a box with a hole in the lid and asked the cashier to stick her finger in the hole. The cashier said:
"No, you might have a snake in there."
The lady assured her that there was nothing in the box that would harm her. So the cashier put her finger into the box, quickly pulled it out and screamed:
"That smells like sh*t."
The lady replied:
"It is... I want to buy two rolls of toilet paper please."
"I'm sorry, but we can't sell this to you without proof you have a cat. Too many seniors are buying cat food to eat. Management wants proof that you are buying this for your cat."
So the lady went home, brought in her cat and was sold the cat food.
The next day, she comes in and tries to buy two cans of dog food and was again told she couldn't buy them without proof.
So the lady went home, brought in her dog and was sold the dog food...
One day later, she brought in a box with a hole in the lid and asked the cashier to stick her finger in the hole. The cashier said:
"No, you might have a snake in there."
The lady assured her that there was nothing in the box that would harm her. So the cashier put her finger into the box, quickly pulled it out and screamed:
"That smells like sh*t."
The lady replied:
"It is... I want to buy two rolls of toilet paper please."
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Stephen
Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 15955
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down Souf. The civilised end of the country :)
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
Last edited by Stephen on 30 Oct 2020, 12:39, edited 1 time in total.
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Stephen
Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 15955
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down Souf. The civilised end of the country :)
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
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Stephen
Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 15955
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down Souf. The civilised end of the country :)
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
Labour anti-Semitism report:
Latest. The Jewish Labour movement is releasing their statement in response to the conclusions of this report. Available on pay-to-view.
Latest. The Jewish Labour movement is releasing their statement in response to the conclusions of this report. Available on pay-to-view.