Why is it that.......

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RB1961
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Re: Why is it that.......

#51

Post by RB1961 »

Mr Fox,

I got the middle finger from a lady the other day because I did that. She was in the queue and got so angry that she drove off without getting any fuel. :lol:

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oldbluefox
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Re: Why is it that.......

#52

Post by oldbluefox »

RB1961

It happens to me all the time and today I was fed up with it. You sit there in a queue because they are all waiting for one particular pump to become available even though there are other pumps available. Today it was white van man who was giving grief. The fuel line wouldn't have reached around his Transit anyway. Flamin' muppet!!! :roll:

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Dark Knight
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Re: Why is it that.......

#53

Post by Dark Knight »

had one in sainsbugs, woman stepped out in front of me , 5 yards fom a zebra crossing, when i kindly pointed out he error , she became a hairy arsed brickie


ohh the language, I could not stop laughing
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towny44
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Re: Why is it that.......

#54

Post by towny44 »

......the bin men can never put the wheelie bin back where they found it?
John

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Silver_Shiney
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Re: Why is it that.......

#55

Post by Silver_Shiney »

... when you come home late at night, you slide the key into the lock very gently, swing the door open slowly, remove your shoes in the dark and start creeping up the stairs, being careful to avoid that creaky one three steps up, that the lights suddenly come on like Blackpool illuminations, and there she is, standing at the top of the landing, tapping her rolling pin against her knuckleduster, and shrieking "wherethebleedingellhaveyoubeenyoubinoutboozingwiththatAdmiralandDarknightagain!" (Isn't amazing how they can say so much without drawing breath?)

On the other hand, you come home late at night, trip over the garden gnome, fumble the key into the lock, slam the door shut, throw your shoes across the hall, stomp up the stairs singing "I'm in the mood for love" at the top of your voice, and she's so fast asleep it would take a nuclear explosion to wake her.
Alan

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oldbluefox
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Re: Why is it that.......

#56

Post by oldbluefox »

Why is it the creaky stair is always three steps up!!!

Why is it your loved one never hears you when you talk to them sat next to you yet rustle a sweet paper when they are upstairs and they hear that?

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kaymar
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Re: Why is it that.......

#57

Post by kaymar »

...........when you want to invest some money, you go to a broker?

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Silver_Shiney
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Re: Why is it that.......

#58

Post by Silver_Shiney »

kaymar wrote:
...........when you want to invest some money, you go to a broker?
When I was studying for the Institute of Financial Services, I had to laugh when the first sentence of the text book stated "In yaers gone past, many people made a small fortune by investing a large fortune."
Alan

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kaymar
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Re: Why is it that.......

#59

Post by kaymar »

Nothing changes, does it S.S? Lots of people have done the same thing in the last five years, even with the help of their "broker"

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Silver_Shiney
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Re: Why is it that.......

#60

Post by Silver_Shiney »

kaymar wrote:
Nothing changes, does it S.S? Lots of people have done the same thing in the last five years, even with the help of their "broker"
Any broker is now required to ascertain your "attitude to risk" and how long you are willing to tie your money up for. He should look at funds that are well established (unless you have a "high" attitude to risk and have a long time to go before retirement - in which case a small "punt" can pay dividends) and examine their performance over at least 5 years. Investment performance tends to be cyclical - averaging five year highs and lows. Unless you have no knowledge whatsoever of these things, it's worth going to somewhere like Hargreaves Lansdown (I do NOT work for them), where you can self invest and keep a close watch on your investments. I bought into a couple of funds at the wrong time, and have lost some money, while another fund has grown by nearly 150% in two years, so I keep taking some of the profits and reinvesting in lower-risk funds. Had I left my pension pot where it was, I'd have made perhaps 4% growth. Since moving it to HL, I'm seeing overall returns of 24%.

Please note I am merely giving my opinion and personal experience - I am NOT giving advice, which I am not qualified to do.
Alan

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Dark Knight
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Re: Why is it that.......

#61

Post by Dark Knight »

food always sounds better than it tastes

I am not as hungry after I cook , than I was before I started to cook
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qbman1
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Re: Why is it that.......

#62

Post by qbman1 »

Why is it that in tampon commercials they're always laughing and dancing? Shouldn't they be revving chainsaws & burning sh*t down?

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Romig1
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Re: Why is it that.......

#63

Post by Romig1 »

Some yogurt pots have knobbly bottoms so you can't get the last bit out???
:x

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Dancing Queen
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Re: Why is it that.......

#64

Post by Dancing Queen »

Experience is something you don't get until . . . just after you need it.
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Dark Knight
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Re: Why is it that.......

#65

Post by Dark Knight »

now i have it , I am not sure why I wanted it? :wave:
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Jacknian
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Re: Why is it that.......

#66

Post by Jacknian »

The time leading up to a cruise drags so slowly but when you get on the ship it whizzes by !

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HK phooey
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Re: Why is it that.......

#67

Post by HK phooey »

males are physically and mentally unable to rise to the challenge of replacing a toilet roll?

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qbman1
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Re: Why is it that.......

#68

Post by qbman1 »

HK phooey wrote:
males are physically and mentally unable to rise to the challenge of replacing a toilet roll?
....and ladies can't get it into their heads to leave the seat up when they have fnished whatever they do in there !!

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Dancing Queen
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Re: Why is it that.......

#69

Post by Dancing Queen »

We don't remember being absent minded.
Jo

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jay-ell71
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Re: Why is it that.......

#70

Post by jay-ell71 »

When the OH looses something, it is my fault? :?:
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Dark Knight
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Re: Why is it that.......

#71

Post by Dark Knight »

that telepathy only works between women :o
the phrases, I thought you had got that bit or I thought you would have worked it out by now, do not work, so tell us what you want or what you mean, I am crap at guessing :thumbup: :thumbup:
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oldbluefox
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Re: Why is it that.......

#72

Post by oldbluefox »

Why is it that when women say yes they really mean no, and when they say no they really mean yes?

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JenniC
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Re: Why is it that.......

#73

Post by JenniC »

Why is it that men can never understand women's logic!
Jenni

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Dark Knight
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Re: Why is it that.......

#74

Post by Dark Knight »

women's logic
a proper oxymoron, like military intelligence :o :o :wave:
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Romig1
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Re: Why is it that.......

#75

Post by Romig1 »

I thought an oxy moron was someone who took their acne medication orally instead of rubbing it in?
:o :?:

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