Why is it that.......

[qbman1]

Why is it that at the start, marriage is like a deck of cards - all you need are two hearts and a diamond - but by the end you wish you had a bloody club and a spade ?!

[Silver_Shiney]

I thought an oxy moron was someone who took their acne medication orally instead of rubbing it in?

I thought it was 80 members of the Church of Latter Day Saints.



Oh wait, that's oxymormon.

[Not so ancient mariner]

There are only 10 types of people in this world: ..............those who understand binary notation, and those who don't!

[Romig1]

......batteries in smoke alarms never run out in the daytime?

Beep bloody beep!

[JenniC]

So no sleep bl***y sleep then

[Romig1]

Indeed jenni. I'm sure they are programmed to fail at 4am.

[oldbluefox]

Romig, you're right!!

Likewise fillings always drop out when the dentists are shut.

[Not so ancient mariner]

Indeed jenni. I'm sure they are programmed to fail at 4am.

.........and that's exactly what happened here this morning. When I got back to bed after taking the battery out to shut the bl**dy thing up, my clock was showing 04:05. Bang on time!!!!!!!

[Meg 50]

......batteries in smoke alarms never run out in the daytime?

Beep bl**dy beep!

ours are programmed to die on Christmas Morning at 3.30 am.

is the only way to shut them up to remove the battery?
We had to buy a new one a couple of weeks ago cos in trying to hook ours down from the loft hatch to remove the battery I dropped it and killed it!

[Manoverboard]

... is the only way to shut them up to remove the battery ?

Ours are wired up to the mains and have some sort of capacitor-ish that causes it to carry on squalking even AFTER the battery has been removed so I need to trip the Circuit Breaker that feeds it with electricity as well ... the battery is back-up only I therefore assumed.

[GillD46]

... is the only way to shut them up to remove the battery ?

Ours are wired up to the mains and have some sort of capacitor-ish that causes it to carry on squalking even AFTER the battery has been removed so I need to trip the Circuit Breaker that feeds it with electricity as well ... the battery is back-up only I therefore assumed.

Ours in our last house, was exactly the same - VERY annoying when it started to beep!

[kaymar]

Why is there is a setting on the toaster that burns the toast so black that it sets the smoke alarm off and no-one would eat it anyway?

[gfwgfw]

Why is it that DK Kev is so unkind to the Giant on this great confection

[gfwgfw]

. . . . and why is it that our dear Ken never gets his hair cut

Luboo all

Graham

[Romig1]

......batteries in smoke alarms never run out in the daytime?

Beep bl**dy beep!

ours are programmed to die on Christmas Morning at 3.30 am.

is the only way to shut them up to remove the battery?
We had to buy a new one a couple of weeks ago cos in trying to hook ours down from the loft hatch to remove the battery I dropped it and killed it!

Ours is on the loft hatch too, which overlooks the galleried landing.... one of these nights I'll topple off (in a semi-comatose state) the blanket box I stand on to reach it and end up in a heap downstairs....Wina is looking forward to the insurance payout and a world-cruise!

[gfwgfw]

Beeeep Beeeep Beeeep



Excuse me my toast is toasted to perfection


The Happy Giant of Cerne Abbas

[Silver_Shiney]

... if you get water on your inkjet printout, the ink washes off, but get the ink on your fingers and it won't come off for love or money

[Not so ancient mariner]

When you are making scrambled eggs, you can break the shell as roughly as you like, and the yolk always stays intact: - but should you be intent on frying them......!!!

[Kaziebelle]

Why is it that I'm always losing my car keys but my husband never seems to?

[Not so ancient mariner]

I like to call people a "burger", some people find it a bit cheesy though

as in 'silly burger' I presume........

[Silver_Shiney]

I like to call people a "burger", some people find it a bit cheesy though

as in 'silly burger' I presume........

you're just relishing to opportunity to ham it up....





Why is it that my DIL always seems to want to Skype me just after I've started a phone call to my mum?

[Stephen]

Why is it the phone or door bell rings when I'm on the loo.

[gfwgfw]

Why is it that I love everybody ?

[Silver_Shiney]

Why is it that I love everybody ?

Because you are a dear gentleman of the old school, sir

[gfwgfw]

Why is it that I love everybody ?

Because you are a dear gentleman of the old school, sir

Bleedy Heck . . . I am now having a seriously hot hot flush

Luboo lots

The Giant of Cerne Abass