It's Friday Fun Time
Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
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Stephen
Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 15980
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down Souf. The civilised end of the country :)
Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
It's Friday Fun Time
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Stephen
Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 15980
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down Souf. The civilised end of the country :)
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
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Stephen
Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 15980
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down Souf. The civilised end of the country :)
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
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Stephen
Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 15980
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down Souf. The civilised end of the country :)
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
I'm doing my bit for the poor desperate people, scared for their lives, nowhere to go, no food to eat, and no hope for the future.
I've got 3 P&O employees moving in with me tomorrow
I've got 3 P&O employees moving in with me tomorrow
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oldbluefox
- Ex Team Member
- Posts: 11348
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Cumbria
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
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oldbluefox
- Ex Team Member
- Posts: 11348
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Cumbria
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
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oldbluefox
- Ex Team Member
- Posts: 11348
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Cumbria
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
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oldbluefox
- Ex Team Member
- Posts: 11348
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Cumbria
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Ray Scully
- Senior First Officer
- Posts: 2053
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Lancashire
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
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Ray Scully
- Senior First Officer
- Posts: 2053
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Lancashire
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
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Stephen
Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 15980
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down Souf. The civilised end of the country :)
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
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Stephen
Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 15980
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down Souf. The civilised end of the country :)
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
Went back into the house from the garden and the wife asks "Who was that?"
Me: "Some bloke going past said 'Spring in the air' and I said Spring in the air yourself you daft s*d."
Her: "FFS, why don't you try to be nice?"
Me: "Tried it once and decided it wasn't for me
Me: "Some bloke going past said 'Spring in the air' and I said Spring in the air yourself you daft s*d."
Her: "FFS, why don't you try to be nice?"
Me: "Tried it once and decided it wasn't for me
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Stephen
Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 15980
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down Souf. The civilised end of the country :)
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
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Stephen
Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 15980
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down Souf. The civilised end of the country :)
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
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Stephen
Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 15980
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down Souf. The civilised end of the country :)
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
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Stephen
Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 15980
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down Souf. The civilised end of the country :)
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Mervyn and Trish
- Commodore
- Posts: 15348
- Joined: February 2013
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
A husband and wife head out to the golf course to play golf together for the first time. In fact, Ray has been teaching Debra to play, and this is going to be her first full 18 holes of golf.
Things are going pretty well until they reach the 7th hole. The tee shot is across a pond to a tight fairway. Ray senses trouble when he sees the big house sitting right next to the fairway on the right side - right where Debra's slice might take her ball.
Sure enough, Debra hits her tee shot and the ball curves straight for the house. It crosses into the backyard and crashes through a big picture window.
Ray and Debra both cringe. "I'm so sorry!" Debra exclaimed. "Don't worry about," Ray said, "we'll just have to go up that house, find the owner, apologize, and see how much that window is going to cost us."
So they walk over to the house, find its front door, and knock. A deep, soothing voice replied, "Come on in."
When they open the door, the damage caused by Debra's errant shot was obvious. Glass was all over the floor, and a broken antique bottle lay on its side near the smashed window.
A man was reclining on the couch. "Are you the people who broke my window?" he asked.
"Yes, sir. We're very sorry about that," Ray replied.
"Oh, no apology necessary!" the man exclaimed. "I owe you a huge 'thank you.' You see, I'm a genie, and I've been trapped in that bottle for a thousand years. When your golf ball broke the bottle, I finally was set free! Now that you've released me, I'm allowed to grant three wishes. What are your wishes?"
"Wow, this is amazing!" Ray said. He thought for a moment, then blurted out, "I want $10 million a year for the rest of my life."
"No problem," said the genie. "You've got it, it's the least I can do. And I'll even guarantee you a long, healthy life! Now, what's the second wish?"
Debra jumped in: "I'd like to own a huge, gorgeous mansion in every country in the world, each one complete with servants! And all bills paid!"
"Consider it done," the genie said. "And your homes will always be safe from fire, burglary and natural disasters!
"You have one wish left," the genie continued, "but I want to ask you a favor. I've been trapped in that bottle for so long ... would you mind allowing me to make the final wish?"
Ray and Debra both were quick to say yes. After all, their future was more than secure. "What is your wish, genie?" Ray asked him.
"Well, since I've been trapped in that bottle and haven't been with a woman in more than a thousand years," the genie said to Ray, "my wish is to have sex with your wife."
Ray and Debra looked at each other, and whispered back-and-forth for a few seconds. Ray asked Debra what she thought.
"You know, considering our good fortune today, all thanks to this genie, I guess it would be OK. But would you mind, Ray?"
"You know I love you, honey," Ray replied. "I'd do the same for you."
So Debra and the genie went upstairs. Ray waited downstairs while the pair spent the rest of the afternoon enjoying each others company.
After about three hours of non-stop action, the genie rolled over. Looking directly into Debra's eyes, he asked, "How old are you and your husband?"
"We're both 35," Debra responded breathlessly.
"No kidding. That's interesting," the genie said. "Thirty-five years old, and both of you still believe in genies?"
Things are going pretty well until they reach the 7th hole. The tee shot is across a pond to a tight fairway. Ray senses trouble when he sees the big house sitting right next to the fairway on the right side - right where Debra's slice might take her ball.
Sure enough, Debra hits her tee shot and the ball curves straight for the house. It crosses into the backyard and crashes through a big picture window.
Ray and Debra both cringe. "I'm so sorry!" Debra exclaimed. "Don't worry about," Ray said, "we'll just have to go up that house, find the owner, apologize, and see how much that window is going to cost us."
So they walk over to the house, find its front door, and knock. A deep, soothing voice replied, "Come on in."
When they open the door, the damage caused by Debra's errant shot was obvious. Glass was all over the floor, and a broken antique bottle lay on its side near the smashed window.
A man was reclining on the couch. "Are you the people who broke my window?" he asked.
"Yes, sir. We're very sorry about that," Ray replied.
"Oh, no apology necessary!" the man exclaimed. "I owe you a huge 'thank you.' You see, I'm a genie, and I've been trapped in that bottle for a thousand years. When your golf ball broke the bottle, I finally was set free! Now that you've released me, I'm allowed to grant three wishes. What are your wishes?"
"Wow, this is amazing!" Ray said. He thought for a moment, then blurted out, "I want $10 million a year for the rest of my life."
"No problem," said the genie. "You've got it, it's the least I can do. And I'll even guarantee you a long, healthy life! Now, what's the second wish?"
Debra jumped in: "I'd like to own a huge, gorgeous mansion in every country in the world, each one complete with servants! And all bills paid!"
"Consider it done," the genie said. "And your homes will always be safe from fire, burglary and natural disasters!
"You have one wish left," the genie continued, "but I want to ask you a favor. I've been trapped in that bottle for so long ... would you mind allowing me to make the final wish?"
Ray and Debra both were quick to say yes. After all, their future was more than secure. "What is your wish, genie?" Ray asked him.
"Well, since I've been trapped in that bottle and haven't been with a woman in more than a thousand years," the genie said to Ray, "my wish is to have sex with your wife."
Ray and Debra looked at each other, and whispered back-and-forth for a few seconds. Ray asked Debra what she thought.
"You know, considering our good fortune today, all thanks to this genie, I guess it would be OK. But would you mind, Ray?"
"You know I love you, honey," Ray replied. "I'd do the same for you."
So Debra and the genie went upstairs. Ray waited downstairs while the pair spent the rest of the afternoon enjoying each others company.
After about three hours of non-stop action, the genie rolled over. Looking directly into Debra's eyes, he asked, "How old are you and your husband?"
"We're both 35," Debra responded breathlessly.
"No kidding. That's interesting," the genie said. "Thirty-five years old, and both of you still believe in genies?"