Morning all

[Onelife]

I haven’t heard from Stephen this past couple of days…hope he is doing ok?

[david63]

I haven’t heard from Stephen this past couple of days…hope he is doing ok?

You didn't send him some chocs did you?

[Onelife]

I haven’t heard from Stephen this past couple of days…hope he is doing ok?

You didn't send him some chocs did you?

Nah! Daivd…I was just a little concerned cos he owes me money.

[Stephen]

You can kiss that goodbye

[Ray B]

Stephen woke up this morning next to a woman whose name he don't even know.

I guess that's what it's like when you're in a hospital ward.

[Stephen]

And I think I’ve been interfered with. Turns out her name Brian

[Ray B]

Hope things are going well Stephen. When will you be 'coming out'.

[Stephen]

No chance.

[Mervyn and Trish]

Word is he's not unwell at all. Just a scam to save on his next door's fuel bill.

[Onelife]

Stephen woke up this morning next to a woman whose name he don't even know.

I guess that's what it's like when you're in a hospital ward.

His excuse was that he was sleep-walking and just ended up in the lady’s ward…. this, however, was quickly dismissed when he was found with his pyjamas round his ankles…Pervert!

[Stephen]

I won't mind but it was a 80 year granny kneeling down in front of me

[CaroleF]

Hope you're home soon Stephen. I miss your cryptic comments each day, they really make me smile. Has anything been mentioned as to why you developed sepsis. You really are in the best place, however much it strains your patience.

[Stephen]

Hope you're home soon Stephen. I miss your cryptic comments each day, they really make me smile. Has anything been mentioned as to why you developed sepsis. You really are in the best place, however much it strains your patience.

Thanks Carol.

A rusty scalpel from the op I had last Tuesday is my bet. You call it the best place I call it hell, but I know what you mean.

[Mervyn and Trish]

You're still hanging on to life by a thread then!

You should have paid the optional fee for new implements. This is the NHS you know.

[towny44]

Hope you're home soon Stephen. I miss your cryptic comments each day, they really make me smile. Has anything been mentioned as to why you developed sepsis. You really are in the best place, however much it strains your patience.

Thanks Carol.

A rusty scalpel from the op I had last Tuesday is my bet. You call it the best place I call it hell, but I know what you mean.

Did you leave your compo forms at home???

[Stephen]

Mrs S brought them in I'm filling them out now.

[Ray B]

You're sure they are compo forms then.
Stephen woke up in hospital with a sexy nurse standing over him. She said “You may not feel anything from the waist down.”
“Fair enough,” said Stephen, and felt her breasts
'morning all'

[Mervyn and Trish]

Sounds like he's recovering then. Other than the fresh black eye of course.

[Stephen]

Felt down this morning and like I’d gone back a step. Pi**ed off with the doctor saying another couple of days before going home.

[david63]

with the doctor saying another couple of days before going home

That does get annoying.

The worst part though is when the doctor says you can go home but the pharmacist has to see you first. I am not joking but on one of my stays last year the doctor said I was "good to go" at about 11:00 - is was 15:30 before the pharmacist came round to find that I did not need, nor was I on, any medication.

[Stephen]

Going by the inmates that are let out it appears it’s the discharge letter that holds everyone up.

Honestly you have to see it to believe it. NHS in crisis is an understatement. ‘Most’ of the staff are doing they’re best under circumstances which to my mind are not practically safe.

The second I’m given the green light you won’t see my ar*e for dust. I’ll say stick the discharge letter in the post and whoosh, gone.

Mrs S came in this morning and had a meeting with the senior nurses. I think they got the message about care quality among other things. Good to have someone on your side who has over 40 years experience in nursing and won’t be bambuzelled with gobbledygook tech words, because she’ll fire right back with the same and some.

Hopefully I’ll wake up without a pine overcoat in the morning

[Onelife]

Felt down this morning and like I’d gone back a step. Pi**ed off with the doctor saying another couple of days before going home.

Stop you’re whinging, at least you’ll be going home in a car instead of a box

[Stephen]

Felt down this morning and like I’d gone back a step. Pi**ed off with the doctor saying another couple of days before going home.

Stop you’re whinging, at least you’ll be going home in a car instead of a box

But the car might be a hurst ‘Deputy Captain’

[Onelife]

If it is you won’t know nowt about it…but I’ll give you a