Last One to Post Wins

[qbman1]

The Day After Tomorrow ?

[Mervyn and Trish]

You seem to know a lot about this Merv !

Jeremy Kyle, I mean, not your wife's sister !!

My wife doesn't have a sister.

Oh my god, who was it then?

[qbman1]

Remember this from last week's "Mornin All" ?

Could have been your father-in-law !!



A couple were invited to a swanky family masked fancy dress Halloween party.

The wife got a terrible headache and told her husband to go to the party alone.

He, being a devoted husband, protested, but she argued and said she was going to take some aspirin and go to bed and there was no need for his good time to be spoiled by not going.

So he took his costume and away he went.

The wife, after sleeping soundly for about an hour, woke without pain and as it was still early, decided to go to the party.

As her husband didn't know what her costume was, she thought she would have some fun by watching her husband to see how he acted when she was not with him.

So she joined the party and soon spotted her husband in his costume, cavorting around on the dance floor, dancing with every nice 'chick' he could and copping a little feel here and a little kiss there.

His wife went up to him and being a rather seductive babe herself, he left his new partner high and dry and devoted his time to her.
She let him go as far as he wished, naturally, since he was her husband.

After more drinks he finally whispered a little proposition in her ear and she agreed, so off they went to one of the cars and had passionate intercourse in the back seat.

Just before unmasking at midnight, she slipped away and went home and put the costume away and was sitting up reading when he came in, so she asked what kind of time he had.

'Oh, the same old thing. You know I never have a good time when you're not there.'

Then she asked, 'Did you dance much?'

He replied, 'I'll tell you, I never even danced one dance.

When I got there, I met Pete, Bill Brown and some other guys, so we went into the spare room and played poker all evening.'

'You must have looked really silly wearing that costume playing poker all night!' she said with unashamed sarcasm.

To which the husband replied,'Actually, I gave my costume to my Dad, apparently he had the time of his life.

[Mervyn and Trish]

I definitely didn't sleep with my father-in-law

[qbman1]

Fair point - you'd probably have remembered that

[Stephen]

Fair point - you'd probably have remembered that

How do you know

[Mervyn and Trish]

How do I know what?

[Stephen]

How do you know what do I know what?

[Not so ancient mariner]

¿Qué? No comprendo.

[Jan Rosser]

Morning all from a sunny valley in South Wales - now what shall I do today oh yes its blood donation day - oh well tea and biscuits after

[towny44]

Morning all, supermarket shopping today preceded by a trip to the Card Factory to buy the next 2/3 months of birthday cards. Exciting eh what?!!!!

[Jan Rosser]

Morning all, supermarket shopping today preceded by a trip to the Card Factory to buy the next 2/3 months of birthday cards. Exciting eh what?!!!!

Very exciting John but relatively painless

[qbman1]

Morning all from a sunny valley in South Wales - now what shall I do today oh yes its blood donation day - oh well tea and biscuits after

Nothing more than legalised vampires !!

[Stephen]

They can be what they want, but one day I/we might be grateful for it.

[qbman1]

I'm not knocking it - I gave blood for many years until the levels of alcohol exceeded the red blood cells and the recipients were waking up with a hangover !

[Stephen]

Silly s*d

[qbman1]

Nah, you must be confusing me with someone else !

[Jan Rosser]

Update on Blod's visit to give blood - I've come back with an armful intact (come on some of you must be old enough to remember the Tony Hancock sketch) - got the day wrong - oops - will now have to wait until March. Maddening part was that I paid for the pay and display car park and obviously didn't get my money's worth - grrrr

[Stephen]

Update on Blod's visit to give blood - I've come back with an armful intact (come on some of you must be old enough to remember the Tony Hancock sketch) - got the day wrong - oops - will now have to wait until March. Maddening part was that I paid for the pay and display car park and obviously didn't get my money's worth - grrrr

Still got all your blood Jan but have lost your marbles

[qbman1]

Update on Blod's visit to give blood - I've come back with an armful intact (come on some of you must be old enough to remember the Tony Hancock sketch) - got the day wrong - oops - will now have to wait until March. Maddening part was that I paid for the pay and display car park and obviously didn't get my money's worth - grrrr

Are you sure you went to the right clinic ? The memory one is just down the road !

Daft bat !

[Silver_Shiney]

Morning all, supermarket shopping today preceded by a trip to the Card Factory to buy the next 2/3 months of birthday cards. Exciting eh what?!!!!

Very exciting John but relatively painless

Painless?? Have you seen the prices they charge for cards these days - and that's before you add on the postage to send them

[Jan Rosser]

Now come on boys a simple mix up between 23 and 25 - nothing wrong with my memory - now what was I saying

[Jan Rosser]

Morning all, supermarket shopping today preceded by a trip to the Card Factory to buy the next 2/3 months of birthday cards. Exciting eh what?!!!!

Very exciting John but relatively painless

Painless?? Have you seen the prices they charge for cards these days - and that's before you add on the postage to send them

I know you need to take out a mortgage to pay for the stamps - Christmas this year was ridiculous

[towny44]

Update on Towny's shopping, tried to find a parking space in the town centre without success, there were road/pavement works everywhere, so the cards will have to wait till later.
Seems to be that time of year when the council depts are frantically trying to spend all their budget before they lose it in April.

[qbman1]

Look on the bright side - at least by not buying the cards you've saved enough money for a 2 week cruise